Boston Marathon 2019

The Boston Marathon is a special kind of special.

I understand it is obnoxiously-Bostonian to describe the race like no other marathon in the world. But yesterday was pure insanity. I’ve never been in so much pain ever. I’ve never loved or embraced that same pain with more vigor. My heart is completely filled while my legs are empty and withered. My whole being needs yesterday again.

For the last 11 miles I danced ever so delicately with the two most extreme feelings of my imagination:

The feeling that nothing on earth could stop me.

And the feeling that nothing on earth could force my legs to move faster. 

My legs were were smashed into a million pieces despite the day being perfect. I lined up at the starting line feeling as fit and light as I’ve ever felt. I didn’t have any lingering negativity and I was ready as ever. My legs felt so powerful. I even held a more controlled pace for the treacherous first six miles. Yet, by Mile 15 I’ve never wanted to give up on anything more. My body screamed in pure agony. Somehow my heart kept smiling with a gleam of strength.

I don’t quite know yet why I couldn’t hold the pace I was aiming for. But I also don’t care. The Boston Marathon forces you to show up. And I’ve never been more pleased or proud of myself for showing up like I did yesterday. I can’t believe how much pain I was in and I have no idea what kept the smile on my face despite it all. 

A runner came up next to me and we ran the last mile in a painful and silently acknowledged misery stride for stride, each with an invisible lasso of pure will and encouragement around the other. My vision went blurry the moment I crossed the finish line and I ended up in the medical tent borderline hypothermic.

We line things up as perfectly as we can. We strive for excellence and execute the plan to the tiniest detail, but when race Monday arrives you have to assume that this course and this city will test your spirit in ways that you could never dream of. The Boston Marathon has an unsuspecting and inexplicable element of mystery that leaves you absolutely wrecked. But begging for more. I wouldn’t change a thing about yesterday even for a better finish time.

Resume Submission from Billy Hafferty, Human

All too often people allow themselves to be judged (and judge themselves) by what they do to earn money rather than how they are making their lives into a living.

Here's my new outlook and version of a "life resume."

Billy Hafferty, Human Somerville, Massachusetts, USA, Earth whafferty@gmail.com

Personal Site

I believe in the power of presence. Showing up with undivided attention is the most powerful skill anyone can bring forward of themselves.

I believe in the power of practice. Any practice; music, art, athletics, woodworking, anything. During any practice where a sense of pure joy exists, the brain loses control and the heart takes the reigns of the body. The human body and mind is the most amazing tool one posesses.

I believe in the power of optimism. Life is a grand joke after all. What’s the use in worrying about anything? It’s a miracle we’re all even here.

Best Assets ⏤ Presence ⏤ Adaptability ⏤ Compassion ⏤ Composure ⏤ Releasing control

Biggest Fears ⏤ Never being enough ⏤ Inevitably hurting        anyone who        gets close to me ⏤ Wasting time ⏤ Accepting      complacency

Core Values ⏤ Deliberacy ⏤ Honesty ⏤ Fostering humor ⏤ Non-judgmentalness     Ego-less-ness, humility

Weaknesses ⏤ Selfish and protective      of time ⏤ Overemphasizing what      others think ⏤ Over-committing

Life experience Born and Raised, Sandwich, MA                       Oct 1987 Born to loving parents in a small middle class town with a safe, family neighborhood. Oldest of four siblings and part of a tight, happy extended family on each side. Lived a very happy, sheltered childhood free from negativity and crisis. A typical summer day would include a walk down to the pond, stopping at the store for a Mountain Dew and a candy bar, pick up sports during the day, a game of “man-hunt” at night, and typical “Sandlot” type adventures along the way. Strived desperately in school to be a part of the “cool” group but was always off in my own head. Junior/ High School, Sandwich, MA            1999-2006 I must have gotten decent grades but don’t really remember trying to learn things. I didn’t care. I was more concerned with what other people thought of me and if I was fitting in. I didn’t quite fit it in anywhere though… but not as an outcast. I was friends with a lot of people and knew everyone, just not really an integral part of any group in particular. I had a solid internal sense of myself, but I still was not fully confident in it. I tried way too hard. I was selfish and did whatever I wanted to do; sometimes I stressed my parents out a lot, and sometimes I made them very proud, but it was all on my terms. I channeled most of my emotions through athletics and football⏤I was pretty proud to be named a captain of my team senior year. College, Massachusetts Maritime Academy Marine Engineering 2006-2010 I started to realize how much I could actually do in college. I am an enthusiastic learner and embraced engineering topics with my brain. Learning this stuff was fun and I didn’t really think of it as school. Labs were 4hrs of welding, electronics, machine tooling, or pulling engines apart. On top of school, football, and rugby, I piled things on to my schedule with abandon. I got away with a lot of things I shouldn’t have as a freshman in a quasi-military academy because I was tutoring some of the upperclassmen in calculus and physics. I didn’t much free time to myself during the week and these habits still echo in my habits today. On the weekends, I’d play football and booze my face off and somehow had the energy to repeat this weekly. Elected Student Trustee 2007-2009 Regimental leader 2007-2010 Dean’s List 2006-2010 Highest ranking engineer 2010 Achieved the highest score on the US Coast Guard exam. Nine Years, Fourteen Companies              2010-2018 I went through a slew of jobs after graduating. What I called, “Trying to find the right fit” was really me expecting someone to hand me this thing called “happiness.” I am not someone who can force themselves to do something for the sake of a reward at the end. I must enjoy what I am doing, or I just won’t do it. From General Electric, to shipping on oil tankers, to industrial sales, to construction, and project management, and then more sales… The most ironic thing about my journey so far is that I was making the most money I have ever made in 2010, immediately after graduation. I’ve taken a pay cut at almost every job since then, but have been increasingly enjoying my time here, now, alive. Quitting my last job without a full plan was the best and scariest thing I have ever done. I’m still quite scared, but following my heart.

Passions Coaching Words cannot express the feelings I hold toward coaching athletes read: guiding people on their own exploration of themselves through endurance athletics. I am filled with the purest joy and humblest honor that people place trust in me to help a long such a personal journey. Sometimes I have to pause for a moment after responding to a question or hanging up the phone and make sure it’s still real. Boston Triathlon Team President                           This group of people has guided me through some of the most pivotal times in my life. It is an honor to lead such an incredible group. The endurance community at large has reshaped my outlook on life and personal values. 2013 BTT rookie of the year 2014-18 BTT athlete of the year Belmont Wheelworks Working in the biking industry is pure fun. Seeing people smile while on a bike is a different kind of smile; it’s the wide smile you can’t fake or wipe off even if you tried. I get to see it while I “work” every day. Sometimes retail has it’s drags. Truth be told, I asked my boss for a raise the other day, but I still don’t know read: care how much I make an hour at the bike shop right now. “Follow your heart” is overused and under-understood; it is not a cliche. You are in charge of your own happiness. Writing I speculate that writing is such a passion for me because it is a way to reach and share with a lot of people all at once. It’s efficient. I need more practice. The majority of my non-blog work is here. Favorites... Book - The Witch of Portobello, Paulo Coelho Poem- The Blessing of Morning Light, David Whyte Place- Bloukrans Bridge, South Africa Trail - Maroon Bells four pass loop Race- Quabbin Road Race Song- Your Hand in Mine, Explosions in the Sky Word- Ecstasy (from the Greek word which literally means “to stand outside oneself” Athletic accolades and races are here but I care more about the practice of the sport than the outcome of races.